mastersofthemiscellany

Rules

2010-03-02T09:48:00.001-08:00

Such a strange day here. It is snowing. My friends are abuzz with the news of BH's passing.

Here are a bunch of famous writer's rules for writing fiction. What are yours?

And here's part two (including Joyce Carol Oates)

Moving books

2009-12-28T05:46:00.001-08:00

This NYT piece has me second-guessing moving every book I own into my new efficiency. I'm still comforted by their presence even though many of them have been in boxes for over a year and a half. Sometimes I'm jealous of a house with spare bookshelves; other times I'm skeptical or depressed.

What books will you never get rid of? And what should leave your collection, or what did you most recently part with and why? The only reason I keep that heavy burgundy literary criticism book from Debra's class is for the Nietzsche essay, which I could easily photocopy. There are books I'm sure I'll never read, or that I have tried reading more than once and that collect dust on makeshift bookmarks browning and crumpled out their tops. I'll make a list as I start to pack. Anyone want a copy of Month-by-Month Gardening in Texas? Better Living Through Ventriloquism? Of Wolves and Men?

writing groups

2009-11-30T06:09:00.000-08:00

hey! have any of you participated in face-to-face writing groups, workshops, etc. since we graduated? i'm hoping to find some people locally to take on julia cameron's the artist's way, a 12-week program with daily commitments. has anyone tried this? or, what methods have worked to trick yourself back into a habit that used to come so easily? what's worked, not worked for you? i'm totally serious.

More babies!

2009-10-22T19:05:00.000-07:00

Beards and Laura got their referral yesterday (after 18+ months)!! I don't even think he reads this blog anymore, but I want to give them a hearty and long overdue congrats. The '07 family grows...

Southwestern Studies I, August 2004-December 2004

2009-10-10T16:31:00.000-07:00

I must lighten my load of notebooks I tote around every time I move, so I'm doing the painful and picking through B.A., M.A., M.F.A. to see which ones can go in the recycle bin. It's that nagging in my brain that keeps this from being an easy process, "but what if, at some point in the future, I need to know the nuances of difference between stem succulents and leaf succulents, drought deciduous species and indicator species."

Anyway, I feel some tribute must be paid. Here's a list of my favorite gems from my notes for Southwestern Studies I in 2004, a class I only managed to stay awake through because you, Jack, and you, Amelia, helped me through it:

"Cuaranchuia- cannibals. The Europeans are the ones who ate each other. The civilized taught the uncivilized cannablialism."

"berdache- man taking on dress, role, status of the opposite sex. Anthropologists interested in this ongoing tradition, primitive people engaged in long history of homosexulaity. Cyclone Covey translation= bad!"

"deserts have sparse vegetation."

"D.H. says for next week's reading, 'don't bother with the footnotes, just the text.'"

"Conquistadors: 1) wore sombreros 2) were magic 3) liked coffee in the mornings"

"Cancer is unnatural.
The unnatural infringes on birds.
A man made lake.
First atomic test-New Mexico."

"American cowboy-one of the most iconic America figures."

"Change-Hall, Montejano
Imagine that you are __________."

"Geronimo was an Apache. Apaches either killed or corraled."

So what does everyone else do with all of their old paper? I'm interested. Are you keeping all the notebooks, keeping a select few; are you the type who can dump them all wholesale into the bin?

McArthur Genuis Grants

2009-09-23T11:04:00.000-07:00

for Heather McHugh, Edwidge Danicat, and Deborah Eisenberg!

Take Me To Your Reader(s)

2009-09-08T16:40:00.000-07:00

I'm prepping (get a load of that!) for a unit/week on voice, and I've been reading Janet Burroway's chapter from Imaginative Writing, which is pretty good, but now I have this question jumping around my brainy brain. Everything I've ever read about voice talks about where we're writing from, or from where the narrator/speaker is telling, how important it is to capture the idiosyncrasies of diction and syntax, pitch, tone, mood, etc. What I'm wondering is if any of you give, or have given, that same amount of thought to whom your narrator is telling the story? And, if so, did/does it help?

I've read of authors having ideal readers they're always writing to, and I'm interested in that, I suppose, if you have one and what her name is and what she looks like and when she gets mad at you or whatever. But I wonder if we sometimes fall into this ill-defined idea of the perfect reader who sits around reading literary fiction all day and loves to be entertained by writers with degrees. For me, it used to be y'all and our teachers I'd write to specifically, but, unfortunately, that's not always the case anymore. So I'm more curious to know if, other than epistolary stories or the semi-gimmicky 2nd-person turns to "the physical reader as the new, implicated character in the story," you can think of any stories (or have written any) with a clearly defined or implied audience. I'm wondering if this lesson we teach our comp students, about writing to a specific audience for a specific purpose (ie: you write an email this way to your parents, this way to your friends), might not benefit us as creative writers? Any experience, thoughts, suggestions? Does this make any sense?

It's a boy!

2009-08-20T10:47:00.000-07:00

Had an ultrasound today, and we're having a boy. A boy named Finn Thomas Edington-Williams.

And

2009-08-17T08:59:00.001-07:00

And Happy Birthday to Amelia!

Apartment Dog

2009-08-14T01:37:00.000-07:00

How about this: A draft of 100 words or fewer.

Title: Apartment Dog

If you feel weird about posting it to the blogosphere, email it to everybody.

Love,
Jack

Holla San Marcos

2009-08-09T09:56:00.000-07:00

In the month's Texas Monthly, the Root cellar Cafe got a mention. "It's easy to miss this little gem, tucked away off the square. The atmosphere is hippie romantic, the walls are stone, and there are lots of wine bottles and eclectic art scattered about. We enjoyed our lunch, a sandwich called the Holy Aioli: citrus-marinated chicken breast pounded thin, served warm on ciabatta, drenched in scrumptious cilantro ailoli, and topped with tomato and melted provolone. Natives say breakfasts are excellent, especially on Sundays."

I never ate breakfast there, much less on a Sunday. Can anyone solve the mystery for me concerning this phrase, "breakfasts are excellent, especially on Sundays?"

Hi, Alaska

2009-07-21T08:51:00.000-07:00

Sarah Palin's resignation speech edited by a team at Vanity Fair. Funny shit.

Happy Belated!

2009-07-17T07:45:00.000-07:00

Happy Belated Birthday Abracadabra!
Hope you're living it up in the temporate Carolinas and having a ball.

I miss you and so I want to know:

2009-07-13T17:11:00.000-07:00

What is the title whatever file/project/story/ poem/ novel/play/ you are currently working on?

podcasts

2009-07-02T11:03:00.000-07:00

Do any of you listen to author interview/craft podcasts? Are there any free ones you'd recommend?

I'm on board with Booklust and Writer's Block, but I'm having trouble sifting through the mass market genre-related tips to find the good stuff.

Blacklist

2009-06-28T21:56:00.001-07:00

This is a terrible idea that I've wanted to ask about for a long time. What journal(s) do you want to place on a blacklist? With or without reason. Where shouldn't we send?

Currently mine is The Baltimore Review, because I followed up twice with no response and have waited 10+ months. Not even a form rejection. And they have online submissions. And other people get responses in, like, two months. I'm just saying, tell me it's lost. Tell me it's not worth that digital postage.

RAWR!

Diane Black doesn't like black people

2009-06-18T11:01:00.000-07:00

Senator Diane Black (R) from Tennessee makes me want to puke. If you're feeling the same or somewhere close to that, please join me and send her an email concerning her reprehensible actions:
sen.diane.black@capitol.tn.gov

(one of her staffers sent out a terribly offensive and racist email that pictured Obama as a pair of wide white eyes on a black back ground. unfortunately, Diane feels that this type of behavior is okay. she didn't fire her employee, she supposedly gave the employee a "sharp reprimand." too bad for her that the newspapers got a hold of her "sharp reprimand" which reads much more like a subtle, "so sorry you got caught.")

spreading the intellect

2009-06-15T20:36:00.001-07:00

I just want to point out that the new griffin school website features famous writer Amelia Gray's handwriting.

My # 1

2009-06-15T02:59:00.001-07:00

My vote for Number One Most Annoying Video of all Times is:
Beyonce's Halo. It even starts badly, Beyonce gazing into the camera soulfully showing the kind of sincerity for which people should get beat up.

A Nickleback video ran a close second though.

Have videos honestly reached a new level of predicitability? Or were they just a new experience when I was 13 and predictable then too?

So what video most bothers you? (Or who else can't sleep and likes to fuck around on the internet because what else can you do at this hour?)

Baby!

2009-06-08T14:28:00.000-07:00

I'm pregnant! Woot, woot! 7 weeks.

Sha wham wham

2009-05-30T13:11:00.000-07:00

Cheering about Alice Munro's Booker Prize all the way in Guatemala.

PS-Is this blog becoming obsolete? I feel like I'm hanging on to the golden years of grad school just by posting.

WINNER ANNOUNCEMENT

2009-04-30T20:48:00.000-07:00

Announcing the winner of the 2008 Ronald Sukenick American Book Review Prize for Innovative Fiction hosted by FC2 (Fiction Collective Two):

Amelia Gray's Museum of the Weird

Judge Lidia Yuknavitch chose Museum of the Weird out of 175 entries. Along with winning the prize money, Amelia's book is slated for a Spring/Summer 2010 release.
A piercing collection, as poetic as it is poignant, Museum of the Weird will be available for teaching in the Fall 2010 semester.

Congratulations Amelia!!

Okay, y'all: I know I sent several of you a suggestive text message about checking the blog tomorrow, but fuck it--I couldn't wait to post this. Do you know how hard it was to glad-hand at the reading and clap and smile at the base ball game?

Congrats again, Amelia! I love it when a bobcat roars!

For your summer reading pleasure

2009-04-28T04:22:00.000-07:00

Dennis has been up to no good! Stick em up.

House

2009-04-18T16:59:00.001-07:00

We got the house! The family is, indeed, moving back to Jamaica.

We don't close until the end of June. Hopefully I'll have pictures to post soon.
It's well after noon. I just saw a loon.

2009-04-17T11:47:00.000-07:00

Eve Sedgwick died.

Jamaica Baby!

2009-04-15T12:49:00.001-07:00

Yay! The family has to move back to Jamaica. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

What We Talk About When We Talk About Alice Munro

2009-04-12T08:08:00.000-07:00

Last week I was on a panel.

Lamp

2009-04-11T15:19:00.000-07:00

Now I'm making a shade for a vertical floor lamp out of this vintage beachy-looking floral material I found in a tub of sewing accoutrements given to me by my grandmother. It's not going as well as I expected.

Odd Titles

2009-04-11T14:34:00.000-07:00

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/28/books/28contest.html?_r=2

This is an article I read today. If I had something more interesting I'd post it.
Hope everyone's well!

Where in the World?

2009-04-01T17:00:00.000-07:00

I love this guy. Today, I'm seeing myself anywhere I don't know the language. I want to be a stranger. South America. Chile or Argentina. What about you?

Missing you.

2009-03-30T09:17:00.000-07:00

Hey, I'm missing the heck out of you guys this morning. What's the weather like over there? How's work, school, interviews, writing, house-hunting? Abby, did you see the lights?

Chabon bam bam

2009-03-18T05:46:00.000-07:00

Sad Link Happy Link Happy Link

2009-03-17T07:12:00.000-07:00

The archive of Henrich Boll, author of my favorite short story, Murke's Collected Silences was destroyed in a building collapse.

Here's Amelia's Amazon page.

Two more novels by Roberto Bolano found.

Spring?

2009-03-09T10:53:00.000-07:00

This morning the music of birds was loud and proud in a way it hasn't been for a while. Loud enough for me to notice. This past Friday, two doves sat on the window ledge of my husband's office and made, what looked like, awkward humping motions towards one another. I think it's spring. Nothing everyone doesn't know already, but we needed a new post, and I'm feeling a sense of renewed energy. How are the rest of you feeling? Done any spring cleaning? Any spring binges of any kind?

Quickie

2009-02-23T17:00:00.000-08:00

I need some good examples of ethnography (preferably a documentary film I could get my hands on quick-like). I guess I would consider fictional (film) examples as well, as long as they could lead into an interesting discussion of ethnographic research and/or reporting. This is for my next two teaching sequences which will be in two parts - 1. talking about ethnography, defining the genre and talking about its characteristics, gathering information about a community/landscape/civic issue/etc. and analyzing it 2. creating and presenting a project based on their research for a specific purpose and audience of their choice. This is deliberately broad, so that students may individualize their projects based on their interests/backgrounds/goals. I imagine their projects to be local, accessible, researchable, and practical.

Thanks!

2009-02-16T06:58:00.001-08:00

Give it up! What's the AWP news?

P.O.V.

2009-02-07T13:48:00.001-08:00

Hey, can anyone think of any good novels that alternate between first and third person? So far, I've come up with "The History of Love" and "No Country for Old Men."
I've been working on back story for my novel, and a first person character has popped up in what I was thinking would be a strictly third person novel. I'm just looking for more examples of this being done seamlessly.

Cross Your Fingers for Me

2009-02-04T08:46:00.000-08:00

For those of you who didn't see on Facebook, I'm a finalist for a Fulbright grant to study in Macedonia for nine months (Project Title: The Mosques of Macedonia an Architectural and Literary Exploration a.k.a. Check out mosques, write a novel). Will probably not find out until very late spring.

Faulkarific

2009-02-03T15:41:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Faulk! I hope it's a good one.
Love and Miss,
all the oo7's

RIP John Updike

2009-01-27T10:53:00.000-08:00

Link

Sad news.

AM/PM in Take the Handle

2009-01-22T11:26:00.000-08:00

Check out an excerpt from AM/PM in the Winter '09 Take the Handle. I'm enjoying listening to the issue's mixtape (in the lower right) as I page through the issue.

Seeing more and more of these ebook-style journals lately. Katya's got a great story in the latest issue of 34th Parallel.

A Reading List That Shaped a President

2009-01-19T10:34:00.000-08:00

From this NY Times Article. What is your list?

Some of President-elect Barack Obama’s favored reading matter:

* The Bible
* “Parting the Waters,” Taylor Branch
* “Self-Reliance,” Ralph Waldo Emerson
* Gandhi’s autobiography
* “Team of Rivals,” Doris Kearns Goodwin
* “The Golden Notebook,” Doris Lessing
* Lincoln’s collected writings
* “Moby-Dick,” Herman Melville
* “Song of Solomon,” Toni Morrison
* Works of Reinhold Niebuhr
* “Gilead,” Marilynne Robinson
* Shakespeare’s tragedies

5 Days

2009-01-15T07:13:00.000-08:00

In case you haven't heard, our country goes in for a facelift in 5 days. And if that's not enough hope, then maybe this is.

Five Things' New Venue

2009-01-13T19:01:00.000-08:00

Hey all, vote us up on Do512! Top events get on their mailing list. Click that blue "I like it" button. Thanks!

Five Things has an indoor venue! I'm giddy. Do512 was great to us and I want to keep working with them, but the U.S. Art Authority venue will be perfect for our chilly January and March months. There's a full bar, a big stage, new sound equipment and lights, two bartenders, two door-people, three projectors, ipod setup. Bathrooms! Chairs!

More pictures here if you're interested. You guys should all fly out here for the Jan 23rd show.

What About Gay Marriage

2009-01-13T08:18:00.001-08:00

There is a funny video up at www.236.com titled What About Gay Marriage?

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at 236.com.

Fifth Wednesday

2009-01-06T08:48:00.000-08:00

In other publishing news (yay, Carmen), my story "Another Round" will be coming out in Fifth Wednesday. I was solicited by my friend and former teacher, J.C. Hallman, and will apparently be in the issue with Tom Grimes (who was at Iowa with Chris a.k.a. J.C.).
Tee hee.
P.S. to the webmaster, my stories are already out in Eclipse and Inkwell.

announcing...

2009-01-05T10:20:00.000-08:00

My story "Coulda Been Blind" got picked up by REAL. I'm so happy; it had been months since I'd even gotten a personal rejection letter.

Mon Dieu!

2009-01-05T09:06:00.000-08:00

French author pens a 517 page, 150,000 word sentence.

B & N

2009-01-01T15:32:00.000-08:00

Hope you all had fun on holiday.

Barnes and Noble is now having their after holiday sale-- 50% off and more-- on certain selections. I looked through the first 50 or 60 pages, and while most of it is fluff, there is also Zadie Smith's On Beauty, an Alice McDermott novel I'd been after, one by Julian Barnes, and some other literary lovelies for $4 or $5.

For those of you who also enjoy supporting businesses that make monetary donations to Democrats, http://www.alibris.com/ is also a good place.

From the inbox

2008-12-19T12:01:00.000-08:00

This is the best email I've received in YEARS!

"Dear Friends of American Short Fiction,

As the year draws to a close, we are putting the finishing touches on our first issue of 2009, our biggest and most ambitious to date: nine authors ranging from the renowned Joyce Carol Oates to the emerging writers Rachel B. Glaser and Amelia Gray. . .

Can't wait to see it!

AWP - Chicago 2009

2008-12-15T21:20:00.000-08:00

Anybody going?

Totally

2008-12-11T06:31:00.000-08:00

I've started reading the comics again because I can't stand waking up to real news anymore. This is today's F Minus.

One Sentence

2008-12-10T13:11:00.000-08:00

Kind of awesome:

One Sentence: True Stories Told in One Sentence

Friday funny

2008-12-05T10:31:00.000-08:00

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

This makes me wish we had done a musical while we were all in Texas.

Happy Cyber Monday?

2008-12-01T08:24:00.000-08:00

It is the time of year when people start making lists. Even though the "best of" lists only cover a year (and some years are more fruitful then others), I always get sucked in. I always read the list and look for new voices, female voices, young voices, voices that aren't Roth. I sometimes regress and decide that the literati is something moldy and obsessed with 9/11. Then, I root for my favorite authors and try to figure out who made my list this year.

So here's the NY Times books of the times (they will narrow this list to 10 on Wednesday).

But more importantly who made your list this year? Or if you are like me and have a three year delay (hello! who can afford hardbacks?), what's the best book you've read recently?

UPDATE: Here are NPR's Lists

books for juniors

2008-11-24T08:37:00.000-08:00

So, everytime I come here and ask for suggestions for books/stories, there are many, many good suggestions. And I always end up taking them, and my class is grateful. This means I'm going to keep shamelessly using you for lesson plans.

Last year, the sophomores read "Fight Club," and they loved it so much they quote it all the time. Now I have them as juniors, and they can apply any number of analytical processes to it. If I'm explaining something new, I can say, remember that time in "Fight Club" when...and they get it.

This was some successful teaching last year. I need another book like that. Something exciting and freaky and banned in some states. Something cool and socially relevant, but still smart and literary and all that. I was thinking Bret Easton Ellis, but I think he's kind of dated now. Or, the books I've read are dated - Less Than Zero and American Psycho and Rules of Attraction. I can pretty much do anything I want. Last year, she also taught "Geek Love."

And I'd like to introduce them to somebody other than Palahniuk - just because some have already gone out and read "Choke," and I want them to see there are other writers out there doing similar, wonderful stuff. I was thinking about Jesus' Son, but that's a little short - I'd like something we have to spend time on.

I was going to make them read "The Road," but somebody told me I'd up the teen suicide rate.

Any suggestions?

Confession

2008-11-17T18:42:00.001-08:00

When I went for my interview outside of Chicago (cold, middle of a cornfield, bleak but charming, went well by all stretches of my imagination, still haven't heard anything), I was able to spend a day in Chicago visiting my old haunts, including one of my favorite bookstores in the city, where I found the anthology I'm in healthily stocked on the shelves! I had no idea it was out! It was a pretty great moment that - job or no job - made the trip worthwhile.

And then, check out how narcissistic I am: first, I told the employees ringing me up how happy I was that they had it in stock, and that I was buying two because I am in the book. I wanted the world to stop. I wanted everyone in that store, on the street, all through Chicago to stop what they were doing because they'd heard me. When that didn't happen I asked them if they had ever had authors sign anthologies, or if they'd ever even heard of such a thing, because I sure haven't, but damn did it seem like a good idea, to try on the life of a writer again (in a big city! my favorite bookstore!). One of them said, "No. Never." We all agreed. I handed him my credit card, not even sure if I had enough credit to buy a book I'm in (even journals give you two copies!). I said, "Yeah, me either." I signed my slip, more self-conscious than I've ever been of my signature (too vertical, too nervous, too horizontal, too squished, so White-Outable. Why didn't I try harder in high school, filling margins during Chemistry, Saturday school, abandoned notes? Seriously, when does one get signature practice?) The other employee said, "Suppose it wouldn't really hurt sales." We all awkwardly shrugged, agreed. I thought that after I left maybe one of the workers would push the cash register's "No Sale" button and find my receipt, check out the book during a break, maybe remember my name. That's what I was hoping for. And then there I am signing an anthology that I'm 1/18 or 1/20 of, because one of the employees had gotten the stack off of the shelves when I was leaving; I was happy to be carrying a bag of anything, because it proved that I'd actually been shopping, out onto the streets of a cold Chicago. They watched me sign, and I did so quickly, like a pro. I whipped through those cover pages (front matter?) like it was a hassle, like this was the last stop on tour. Now there's an "Autographed Copy" sticker on 10 covers somewhere, maybe still on those shelves, maybe in a lap, and I'm in love with them.

p.s. Right next to a half-naked S & M cover!

sf where are you?

2008-11-15T19:49:00.000-08:00

These fires scare me. How and where are you and your family, Faulk?
I hope everything is okay.

Jentel

2008-11-14T05:40:00.000-08:00

For those of you who don't know, Mark and I quit our jobs and are taking a year to focus on writing (we call it the Barrggenheim). We've also applied to several artists residencies, and we were both just accepted to Jentel in Wyoming. We're very excited to write on the ranch!

books on writing

2008-11-11T19:27:00.000-08:00

Can somebody point me in the direction of some good books of essays on writing? This summer, I read Baxter's "Burning Down the House," "On Writing" by Eudora Welty, and a bit of DuFresne's (sp) book about truths and lies or whatever. I've also tried to read Joyce Carol Oates' book, and Stephen King's. Baxter's essays were pretty great, but I don't remember a thing about them now that I don't have the book right in front of me. And the others were just okay. Lately, the only essays that have stuck with me are Octavia Butler's in "Blood Child."

I feel a little lost with the writing right now. But when I went to the book fair and heard Richard Price and ZZ Packer and Andrew Sean Greer and Robert Boswell and Mark Jude Poirer talking about craft and stuff, I remembered all kinds of things and got fired up again. I guess I just want somebody good in my ear saying they didn't know what they were doing, either. But then they discovered how and all that. Point me to those books.

If oxford researchers can

2008-11-10T08:40:00.000-08:00

compile a list of the ten most irritating expressions

(1- At the end of the day

2 - Fairly unique

3 - I personally

4 - At this moment in time

5 - With all due respect

6 - Absolutely

7 - It's a nightmare

8 - Shouldn't of

9 - 24/7

10 - It's not rocket science)

then why can't we?
Well maybe b/c we aren't curmudgeons. But I'm seriously sick of the word "seriously". and I am all for bringing back some old classics like "talk to the hand."

AM/PM

2008-11-03T22:21:00.001-08:00

Do keep commenting on Molfe's post below, as I am currently a rotten egg.

Announcing: Featherproof Books has accepted AM/PM, my collection of linked short-shorts, for publication. The release date is set for mid-February, aligned with AWP. It is going to be a thing.

cha cha cha

2008-11-02T18:08:00.000-08:00

I'm starting a new unit on autobiography/memoir for comp 1 and need your favorites/best ideas for short nonfiction, documentaries, music, whatever that either move you or simply work well in the classroom. We just read Sarah Vowell's "Shooting Dad" and then I read them a profile from the Texas Monthly about a professional trapper out in west Texas. Not really sure why I read them the trapper piece other than finding it oddly beautiful and full of voice. Gimme yer guns! And this time we're gonna play a game called Whoever comments last is a rotten egg.

Happy Halloween Regionalism?!

2008-10-31T17:00:00.000-07:00

Some nostalgia today for our first year in the program. Tell me some good jokes, or your best Halloween costume, trick, memory. (I meant to post this this morning, but I've been busy. First trick or treaters just arrived at the new digs in NM.) I guess my best or funniest Halloween memories are my brother getting busted for taking a hatchet to some old guy's tree (my brother was Jason that year), or me going as Richard Nixon, wearing one of my dad's suits, at ten years old, and telling an Alzheimer's joke. Today I had a Chinese Emperor, crunk dancer and Samurai Warrior in my classes.

H20 update**So all these kids are coming to my door sticking their hands out, and I keep saying, "What?! What's your trick?" or, "Do you have a joke for me?" See, growing up in my neck of the suburban woods, you had to earn your candy. Apparently not so in the great Southwest. I stressed over my trick or treat joke every year, even the Alzheimer's one. We absolutely HAD to tell a joke before we got our piece of candy. I need to know if this is/was regional, suburban, old, pagan, whatever. I'm totally pissed that I can't even laugh tonight but instead have to make kids cry even though I'm giving them candy.

Story

2008-10-23T09:48:00.001-07:00

The Two of You is up at Barrelhouse.

Dinner

2008-10-19T08:27:00.001-07:00

My story "Dinner" is live at Shelf Life Magazine.

In The News

2008-10-18T19:41:00.001-07:00

I just logged on to salon.com, and guess what's in the top stories on the 24/7 Wire?

Gardner-Webb Beats Presbyterian!

Growl!

Purple Novel

2008-10-17T07:45:00.000-07:00

They're fierce political opponents, but it turns out that the presidential candidates do agree on a literary matter: Each man picks Ernest Hemingway's 1940 novel For Whom the Bell Tolls as a favorite.
Read on for comments from Robert Stone.

You are not required to read this

2008-10-10T07:22:00.001-07:00

My story formerly known as "pretty girls" made the notable list for the best american nonrequired reading 2008.

I miss you.

To Build A Fire With A Glass of Water

2008-10-09T10:30:00.000-07:00

For those of you who teach power and privilege, race, civil rights, economic hardship, etc, here's a great site (I sure could have used it back in the 1310 days) with some interesting lesson plans: understanding prejudice .

It wants to be a single word

2008-10-07T07:46:00.000-07:00

Keep praising Jack below. I just found a couple of links and haven't posted in quite some time. On the unapologetic, crazy ambition of the short story; and a story by Dago in last month's Harpers.

Exclamation Marks!

2008-10-03T19:47:00.000-07:00

I got a piece of flash into barrelhouse online!

And guess what? It's not about gender.

Future Serial Killer

2008-10-03T07:46:00.000-07:00

www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/10/03/australia.zoo.carnage.ap/index.html

I think we all have to write a story about this.

I can't help it; I really wanted the article to end with "and then the crocodile ate the boy."

Ouch

2008-10-01T04:19:00.000-07:00

"The U.S. is too isolated, too insular. They don't translate enough and don't really participate in the big dialogue of literature," Engdahl said. "That ignorance is restraining."

Endahl=permanent secretary, voting member, spokesman for the secretive panel that selects the winners of the nobel prize in literature.

This article was, I think, originally posted in the nytimes. It is kind of fun to read the comments pile up on the nytimes book blog, papercuts.

Also, guess who's birthday it is, today?

Another good article

2008-09-22T06:40:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I'm always a-postin.

Burried in a pretty funny article about writers who teach, was this little fact.

Writers are second only to medical students in instances of hypochondria

Learn something new every day.

Cool article

2008-09-17T06:04:00.000-07:00

Students who had had more exposure to fiction tended to perform better on social ability and empathy tests

Infinite Jest

2008-09-13T21:09:00.000-07:00

David Foster Wallace died.

Thinking about you now

2008-09-12T04:47:00.001-07:00

Any dispatches from Texas?

I'm glued to the t.v. and worried.

Stranger than fiction

2008-09-08T06:30:00.000-07:00

Wow, best selling authors are a wild set

Someone needs to write a one act play of the events leading up this, um, unfortunate event.

Victoria, we have a birthday!

2008-09-04T04:25:00.000-07:00

Wowzer's it's an important day!

Richard Wright. Kodak. Geronimo. And most importantly...Carmen!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Bobcat boogie

2008-09-02T11:18:00.001-07:00

Carmen mentioned this a while back. Here's a video. Aren't there like seven hundred billion strutters, are these the super strutters?

UPDATE: Here's a longer clip in this one sharon talks! (Thanks Tina!!!)

Another one of my cool friends

2008-08-29T13:32:00.001-07:00

First, please pay attention and respond to the two posts below this. (i don't want to end those threads)

Second, besides all of you, I have another cool friend, perhaps familiar because I have posted about his art. But he's got a new blog it seems and boy, is it funny. Please join him and me in hating McCain. www.housekeysformccain.blogspot.com

Keyhole Magazine

2008-08-28T08:43:00.000-07:00

"The Picture Window" is up today. I somehow have to teach tomorrow.

The Birds and the Bees

2008-08-27T11:14:00.000-07:00

This reminded me of Amelia's story about the vultures.

And I just have to share these random videos.

Query

2008-08-24T14:26:00.000-07:00

does anyone find themselves drinking too much or way too often and at normaly considered inappropriate times of the morning, I mean day?

I need more stuff

2008-08-16T16:26:00.000-07:00

Can anybody suggest:

1. short stories by American authors that are mini-quests - ike Araby, maybe, or A&P, or On the Rainy River. Except not those.

2. short stories by American authors that are not pulpy sci-fi, but depict a dystopian American future

Roadrunners

2008-08-15T07:42:00.000-07:00

I took four classes at UNM for the fall, so I'll be sticking around ABQ a few more months. The campus is flat, so is the architecture, and I will teach in a building near a pretty duck pond. Part of my required orientation next week is to learn how to use the copy machine. There is also an ice breaker. I hate ice breakers. In my experience ice has never broken; it melts. And ice breakers harden my heart.

Other, more interesting news:

Rebecca's story is now up on Agni's site. It's good and makes me jealous. Although it inspired me to submit again yesterday to three new places.

Happy birthday to Jack and Amelia. I think they both have birthdays this weekend.

You can now pre-order Cool Thing, the anthology that promises to make me gay famous.

The other day I read about a German priest who has people lie in open graves as a form of therapy. (I'm not sure if that's the correct use of lie, but I like it.)

The 5 Things Show Comes to Austin

2008-08-12T10:24:00.000-07:00

I mentioned a few posts back that I'm thinking of starting a reading series, and now things are starting to actually happen. I found a great venue in the form of the fabulous do512 offices on South Lamar. I've got the date: second Friday of every month, starting September 12.

And now, I have the concept: I buy/find 5 things fitting in a theme and distribute them to five funny people. Fiction writers, poets, standup comedians, improv types, musicians--a good mix for each show. Their goal, in turn, is to create a funny, short (5 minute-ish) piece inspired by their object, which they bring to share. Part show-and-tell, part art. One dollar admission buys the band their beer.

The goal is to have a fun show that brings fun artists together. Because I miss having writers around, and I miss you guys. If you're in town, I hope you can read for me. I have a few spots left for the first show...

Ronald Sukenick ABR Innovative Fiction Prize

2008-08-05T14:11:00.000-07:00

Heads up folks, if you're interested:
Now announcing that the Ronald Sukenick American Book Review Innovative Fiction Prize is about to commence.

Applications open on August 15th and run through November 1st.

Application Fee $25
Prize $1,000 and publication by FC2
Manuscripts need to be bound with a spring clip or rubber band, no stapples or binding please.

For more of the necessary info go to www.fc2.org

I should also reassure everyone too--I'm not asking you to submit to this contest, because I'm going to pick my friends as the winners and runner-ups. I have nothing to do with this FC2 contest besides receiving the manuscripts and then mailing them to people in Utah. So this is totally legit.

We still haven't got the website completely updated with the recent move of FC2 from Florida to Victoria, TX so if you notice that, don't become alarmed. Contest rules and info are correct as well as the address to which you send the manuscript.

Meeting Your Daily Laugh Quotient One Site at a Time

2008-08-05T08:26:00.001-07:00

Please do yourself a favor and go to the website www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com

You Whities!
(lest that be taken as white person agression, I should add that I am so white it's shameful and embarrassing.)

Question

2008-07-31T23:50:00.000-07:00

I just received in the mail a solicitation to purchase season tickets for Texas State Football. On the front page of the pamphlet, under a montage of celebrating helmet-clad youths, is the tag:

"BOBCAT PRIDE: THE ULTIMATE TEST DRIVE."

My question: what will this test drive prepare me to buy? Some other type of pride, perhaps? A more ultimate pride? Or do I have to commit to Bobcat Bobcat?

I'm thinking of starting a monthly reading series. It's a lot of work.

Dolly, Strutters, and a new pair of shoes

2008-07-23T10:39:00.000-07:00

Hurricane Dolly is making our move a little difficult. We are safe and fine, but the rain is not our friend.

The Texas State Strutters won advancement to Las Vegas on a television show called "America's Got Talent" or something like that. I'm not sure of the exact name of the show.

I haven't bought new shoes in a long time, but it seemed I needed a third thing for the title of this post. What's the newest pair of shoes you guys have purchased? Or your favorite natural disaster?

Advice

2008-07-10T20:19:00.000-07:00

Last month, I finished the story I posted on google groups, and then sent it to a million places. The impetus for finishing it, finally, was an email I got from the Adirondack Review, saying they wanted another story - the one that went into "I Am This Meat."

I finished it, I sent it in, and today I got an acceptance from them, with the caveat of what seems like a major rewrite. I checked out their site, and have found that they are now exclusively an online journal. I could have sworn I'd seen them on the shelves at the UT bookstore. I thought they were print, or, you know, that awesome combination of both.

I really wanted this story to find a home in print somewhere, though, because my other two stories are in online journals, and I have this hangup. But here's my question: should I take the acceptance from AR and suck it up and rewrite so I have another publication under my belt, even though it's not print? I'm not fucking Johnathan Franzen. It's not like I can be picky about shit.

Or should I wait for the print rejections to come pouring in in about four months?

Postcards from the Edge

2008-06-23T08:02:00.000-07:00

Here are some pics from my weekend trip to northern New Mexico or, reasons to visit.

View from a road between Christ in the Desert Monastery and O'Keefe's Ghost Ranch.

View from inside the church at the monastery.

From the Rio Grande Gorge bridge, near Taos (there's a scene from Natural Born Killers that was filmed here).

DH Lawrence memorial.

View from the Lawrence ranch.

Road to nowhere.

Things you find when lost that don't make you feel any better.

My dot

2008-06-17T14:39:00.000-07:00

Everyone is moving around. I see the dots on the map. Mine is Black Mountain, NC--even though that is half an hour from where I am right now. I see Michael's and Carmen's and Amelia/Jack/Rebecca's and I see Jack's in the valley dot and I see Sarah and Bearden on opposite ends of the country. I just want to know where you each are. Emotionally, creatively, physically.

I guess that is a weirdo question. Because I don't know how to answer it. I don't even know where I am. I busted out of Texas so fast, I feel like I don't recognize anything. I didn't know how to say goodbye, so I didn't. My house sold. I told the lady who bought it that Dago and Denis had been there and that Barry had stayed across the street. She listened, but I could tell she'd never heard of any of them. It felt haunted by us though, I'll tell you that. The emptier it got, the more I remembered our time there. North Carolina is pretty and it smells good. But I am not here yet. I'm here. But I'm off in the clouds. Running errands all the time.

I miss you. check in.

AGNI online

2008-06-04T12:21:00.001-07:00

My story "City of Bridges" (formerly "Slanina in Prague"...sex, graveyard, ashes) has been accepted for publication on AGNI-online. Details TBA.

Sweeping Generalizations

2008-05-31T18:20:00.000-07:00

This caught my eye today while I was on the Chronicle website. The article defends the notion that lecturers shouldn't be evaluated on students opinions alone -- and with good reason! I'm sure I've had students complain about me to department heads using all the standard gripes: grades ("I don't understand why this essay got a C"), fairness ("I think she hates George Bush and therefore hates all Republicans, which is what I am), and rigor ("She expects us to read this ten page Alice Munro short story!").

Besides the fact that my number one way to deal with students when they come to me with their excuses is to say: figure it out.

So yeah, I'm definitely on it.

http://chronicle.com/jobs/news/2008/05/2008052001c/careers.html

Announcing

2008-05-28T13:30:00.000-07:00

My story "Backbone" is a finalist in Redivider's 2nd Annual Quickie Contest, and "There Will Be Sense" is a finalist in the DIAGRAM Innovative Fiction Contest. The latter will appear in DIAGRAM's summer issue.

1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die

2008-05-23T14:35:00.000-07:00

The New York Times has a piece on a new British book called “1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die.” (It is technically 1002 books if you count the guidebook.) The actual list can be found here.

I was surprised to see House of Leaves, personally, and Finnegans Wake might be better suited for the sequel, "1001 Books You Must Pretend to Read Before You Die." Which books on the big list could you do without?

Lynda Barry

2008-05-18T17:36:00.000-07:00

I'm big fan of Lynda Barry, thanks to Bianca. I teach the first chapter of her novel Cruddy in 1320, and every single semester, there has been at least one student to go out and buy the book and read it and come back to me completely freaked out.

Cruddy is truly the most harrowing book I've ever read. So much so that it took me about three months of putting it down and picking it up again to get through it the first time. I have yet to read it again in its entirety, but it's up there in my top five books of all time.

She's a cartoonist, and she painted the first draft of Cruddy (it's about 250 pages). I'm just saying.

Bianca found this today. She has a new book out about process.